Well I’m burned out. Officially I’m am burnt out to the point I really need to go to counseling or just venting out to anyone who is willing o listen. I need a hug. I need someone to hold me and tell me it’s okay. I need someone to cry to a shoulder to lean onto. I need someone who actually cares. I need someone who is going to do what they say. I need a job to start to save up money and pay off whatever I need to pay off. I need friends who actually care who will visit me when I need a friend. I’m battling myself. I’m battling my inner demons with self harm again. I’m crying myself to sleep sometimes all because I can’t vent out. I can’t seem to tell someone when they are wrong because every time I do I get yelled at or that person just stop talking to me. I’m tired of being nice to others well as. I’m just fed up. I feel like no really cares around where. They wouldn’t care if I never woke up the next day. Just like my parents don’t. Neither of my parents care. The only time they do is when they want something in return. Such as food, money, and a free place to stay. Or they use the whole “what did you do for me?”

“I’M YOUR CHILD FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!!!” I don’t owe you. I don’t have to repay you for being a PARENT! A FREAKING PARENT! I shouldn’t have to pay my dad back. I shouldn’t have to help my mom out when both of my parents have new families. When both are married with their own children. While here I am alone with no one else. I’m tired of people backing out of their promises, out of what they say. I’m sick of it. I just want to let go or just run away. I don’t care anymore about me. Because I see humans but I see no humanity. I see no honesty, trust nothing just bunch of selfish people. I was told many of times by the same people who won’t help me tell me I’m wrong for feeling that way. Telling me what about my feelings when they never cared about me in the 1st place…I just wish i had someone who cared I just wish I had someone who will talk to me or visit me at least. 😦

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