Well this will be the last time I’ll mention my toxic neighbor. My neighbor who at 1st I had high respect and regard for her since she was an older lady and of course with age as I was told comes with grace and experience. For the last 8 months my life was turned upside down and I had a lot of missed opportunities thanks to her. I learned that a lot of people who say they care about you really may not mean it. After having my hopes up and with her words made up of nothing really put in a position I never wanted to be. Her advice wasn’t helpful at all and at the end of the “relationship” between me and her I learned she is a very bitter person. šŸ˜¦ I had a feeling that she didn’t really mean to help me in the 1st place. Even though I was nice to her and even helped her and gave her my gas discount I was saving for my car I just bought. In return for my thankfulness for grocery runs to a local store she seemed to had well acted as if I owed her after she told me I didn’t had to pay her back for anything stating that’s what neighbors are for. The thing that really hurt me is when she told me that since I was an adult now at that time of 20 that I shouldn’t cry over my situation and it’s not that bad as she said. But it is. I haven’t gotten a job anywhere. A car that I can’t even drive thanks to no one willing to teach me a manual shift and a mountain of bills to pay and after that I’m lucky to have 10 dollars to my name. She told me one day to stop crying after I ended up breaking down under the constant stress of my life. To be told to stop crying because I’m now an adult and you just have to do deal with things. People don’t stop and cry with life they keep going. That’s what she told me. After that she started to tell me that my idea of getting my own car was wrong. Yet it was her idea for me to get my permit and she will help me get my license. Instead she said she didn’t remember saying that. Shortly after that I decided to hold out on my friend who in turn said that same thing after knowing that I needed help :(. Make long story short I my car after 2,758,90 later is now in running condition and I need to renew my insurance but to lower it I need a license not a permit.. So I’m running against time at this point with the same reply from would be employers. Basically saying you’re not qualified to work here. So here I am venting out and again crying. I have to cry. Crying is good for anyone really. Sure you might get a headache or a runny nose but cry when you need to. Don’t let anyone to tell you otherwise. Sure my life may not be as bad as others but it’s not good either. I have a lot of stress on me and I feel like my cross is getting heavier with the late dues and collections with grandma’s medical bills and getting denied with help with that too. Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to wake up the next day because I feel like no one cares. I feel like I care too much about others and cry over things when I was told not to. šŸ˜¦ So yeah enough about me and my sucky 8 months. Just hope my luck change eventually.

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