Well yeah. After a series of broken promises from neighbors and a friend. I’m no trying to pay off these hospital and doctor bills that seems to keep sprouting up like weeds. After I pay 2 off there is 4 more in place. Top that off with a tax increase of 25% so now I’m thinking about selling grandma’s car since no one will teach me how to drive manual shift. After I was told I was stupid to buy my own car, it occurred to me that no one really cares about me. I’m trying to get what I need but the problem I’m not getting hired at all. Not even a fast food joint and the sad thing is with that pay as low as it is won’t pay any of these bills or my car insurance. So now with a leaky roof, 2 broken exhaust fans, three rusted out windows, a broken kitchen light switch, a car that is due for inspection, and no extra money I feel like I’m stuck again. I blame myself for hoping those neighbors and my ex friend would actually help me like they promised me and now say the never said such a thing. I think my next thing is if someone promises me something to get it in writing. I don’t think I’ll believe someone until they write it down or actually do something. But now time is running and it won’t stop for anyone. Top it off with no one believing me it’s hard. It’s hard when no one believes you or will help you out and you’re haven’t been able to start life like you supposed to. Care-giving is a great thing but when you are kinda forced into it you have to choose between your life and putting it on hold to take care of someone else. In a way I do kinda regret it but if I didn’t stay home to take care of my grandma I wouldn’t have anything to call my own like my own car. So even though it is a bittersweet situation but it’s more bitter than anything. My fear is I will never get a job at this rate, as I’m getting older no one is willing to hire me. My other fear is no one will actually help me out unless they are getting something out of it. I guess that’s how life is. 😦

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