Archives for the month of: May, 2013

So I messed around the kitchen (I promise I’ll take pictures tomorrow) with the items I have. I had about two hand fulls of flour left so I figured hey I can make something with this without throwing it away.  So my ingredients for this simple deep fried treat is

Flour, Pure Cane Sugar, Honey, Cinnamon, Water, and Baking powder.

Since I have no eggs so that’s why it my little cakes didn’t get fluffy.

But they ended up being pretty tasty. Not to too sweet though but the honey gave it a nice fortune cookie taste though.

So yeah feel free to experiment with it and you can let me know about how it worked.

 

ShoutOut! JMU

I don’t know if its the warm weather or the abundance of pollen plaguing the air but I can’t help but think about the summer which in turn makes me think of swimsuit season. UGH the dreaded words, the thoughts of self-loathing, the images of women that are prettier than you, skinnier than you and wear that bikini better than you that flood our minds as the ocean tides flood the beaches.  As HannahGrace mentioned in her latest post, feminists sometimes have trouble admitting that we are not impervious to the images presented to us in the media that make us feel inadequate.  I’m not here to talk about shaming other women due to personal feelings of inadequacy or turning to eating disorders or disordered eating. What I really want to explore is point where our societal beauty ideal transformed from one of a healthy curvaceous body to a thin…

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Well it’s been 3 weeks since that arugment. Those words of “I never want to see you or talk to you ever again as long as I’m still walking on this earth”.

Now fast foward to now. Now he’s been calling every week and atleast twice to three times a week. I feel like he’s clinging on to me since he told me the other day he has no one left in his life. Yet he wanted to throw me away when I confronted him and when his friend did too, on how he would well basically say one thing and do something else. I don’t know what to do about him. I want to let go of him but every time I tell him or ignore him, he’ll start to visit or call me more begging me not to let go of him. I just don’t know no anymore.

Junkies On The Storm

Happy? Mudvayne

And the last song that is stuck in my head lol

Leave A Light On – Krimsha

SageDoyle

The orchard breathes life
Into a starry spring night
I hold your hand
Feeling you, feeling me
Enmeshed in the damp
where I lie with you
amongst the hardened roots
pressing against your body
Watching the moon dance in branches
Feeling your hands warm my skin
Anticipation forming like drops of dew
When it becomes that moment 
that grasping pause
and you gasp for that release
when there is nothing but us
Animalistic urges played out
Upon an ancient earth
I become a part of you
As your hands dig into flesh
Making you a part of me
I hold your hand
where I lie with you
watching the moon dance in branches
when it becomes that moment
as there is nothing but us
nothing but us

I composed this poem with Hasty at http://hastywords.wordpress.com Thanks Hasty!

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Oh the King of Frozen tears.
How cold your heart is.
How frozen is the words, creeping through your frigid teeth.
How your mind, ever changing like the tides you preside over.
Yet like the moon, I’m enchanted by you.
Cold, dark, almost brooding yet your glow attracts me.
Shifting from full to new, your cycle adds insight to your soul.
Yet I feel as if I’m still smitten by you.

Oh the King of Fiery beasts.
How warm and gentle your heart is.
How word of heat ignites my soul that sears my skin.
How your mind consumes all and stay the same like the raging volcano, you reside in.
Yet like the sun, I know you.
Hot, shining, almost diamond like, yet I feel comfortable in your presence.
On the move, staying true to yourself, I find you as a new breathe of life.
Yet I feel like I’m falling for you.
Wherever you may be…

Well yeah. After a series of broken promises from neighbors and a friend. I’m no trying to pay off these hospital and doctor bills that seems to keep sprouting up like weeds. After I pay 2 off there is 4 more in place. Top that off with a tax increase of 25% so now I’m thinking about selling grandma’s car since no one will teach me how to drive manual shift. After I was told I was stupid to buy my own car, it occurred to me that no one really cares about me. I’m trying to get what I need but the problem I’m not getting hired at all. Not even a fast food joint and the sad thing is with that pay as low as it is won’t pay any of these bills or my car insurance. So now with a leaky roof, 2 broken exhaust fans, three rusted out windows, a broken kitchen light switch, a car that is due for inspection, and no extra money I feel like I’m stuck again. I blame myself for hoping those neighbors and my ex friend would actually help me like they promised me and now say the never said such a thing. I think my next thing is if someone promises me something to get it in writing. I don’t think I’ll believe someone until they write it down or actually do something. But now time is running and it won’t stop for anyone. Top it off with no one believing me it’s hard. It’s hard when no one believes you or will help you out and you’re haven’t been able to start life like you supposed to. Care-giving is a great thing but when you are kinda forced into it you have to choose between your life and putting it on hold to take care of someone else. In a way I do kinda regret it but if I didn’t stay home to take care of my grandma I wouldn’t have anything to call my own like my own car. So even though it is a bittersweet situation but it’s more bitter than anything. My fear is I will never get a job at this rate, as I’m getting older no one is willing to hire me. My other fear is no one will actually help me out unless they are getting something out of it. I guess that’s how life is. 😦