So here I am crying for the past 2 nights and today was the end probably of his charade. A mutual friend told him how she felt and asked him about the things he said and of course he denied it. I knew he would my gut wouldn’t let go of the fact he would try to make it seem like he is the victim and I’m making this up. For what? What is it in for me to ruin a friendship? He never believed me when I told him about my friend calling him he told the mutual friend that I had him call but it didn’t happened like that. I told both the same thing and still he refuses to believe me. Something is definately wrong with this. I haven’t seen him in a year so why would I ruin a chance to see him and to get my blood pressure up. I tried to talk to him and he kept pushing the issues aside saying he never promised anything when he did. Why deny something that I didn’t even brought up yet. He even started to say before he didn’t do anything. After getting advice here and there for the past year I started to feel torn about him and I told him. Do you think he would had change seeing how I was starting to walk away from him. NO. He didn’t. He didn’t make any attempt to change nor prove anyone wrong. Instead he said I was listening to the wrong people and insisted he would help and haven’t even showed up. If its that not it grandma is starting to become mentally out  of it. If I really needed another pound added on the scale. So here I’m completely hurt. It was my fault. I was wrong for believing in him. It was my fault to believe he would actually maybe listen to me or at least show me what he means. As someone here commented about men on how they show if they care or not, well I see now. Apparently he kept saying that since I’m a douche I’m going to actually go see you help you and that”s it. To me I really don’t want to see him I really don’t. When I did tell him he said he didn’t make a date but it wasn’t that. It was more than just that in a way and I don’t our friendship would really live after this. In a way I don’t care anymore. Why save something when its dead. Why try to show someone that you care when they don’t and they make it seem that you don’t. Even when I try to talk to him it was like he didn’t want to hear me instead what he felt was more important and I get that but you still think it was only me who screwed everything when you couldn’t even make the date you made. So here I am again…Now heartbroken but it will take time to heal and maybe during all of that maybe I’ll see where I went wrong and maybe next time instead of crying of pain I’ll be crying tears of joy….

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