Archives for the month of: April, 2013

Well I had a couple of dreams about meeting someone with green eyes that had reddish brown spots like Heterochromia. They were much taller than me and in all three dreams was kinda well reversed in a way. The last dream was of meeting him for the 1st time the middle dream that was about couple of days was a snap shot of us somewhere at his place I guess. The last one was the 1st time I dreamed of him and it was about a month ago and it was in black and white. Being next to him. It’s just interesting to say the least. I’ll keep you posted if I do ever meet this unique eyed man. 🙂


I’m  kinda feeling sick. My allegies are messing with me and apparently the same to him. Its raining so it’s making me tired.Boo but I’m not in the mood for sushi either. :/ So until next time then.

Well I had an interested wake up call today.That friend that just so happened “to be done with me and never wanted to see me or speak to me again as long as he lives”, called me. I was shocked to say the least. He called me twice. Once he let the phone ring for maybe two or three rings and hanged up. Then I called him back wondering if it was an emergency since I told him if you really need to talk and no one else will you know where I’ll be and you know my number. Well he answered and he was making me laugh but I knew why. He must be depressed and the way he handles it is by making someone laugh. Me out of all the people he knows, who some how betrayed him to the point he doesn’t even want to hear me called me. Not once but twice. So after the weird yet funny conversation he called back 20 minutes later. Now if that doesn’t make me go huh? I don’t know what will. I was very confused, though he said he didn’t care but yet he said he was just concerned and he wanted to make sure I was okay but not to expect him to help. But why stay on the phone for about an half hour if you were done with me completely? Or then tell me you’ll talk to me later? I just don’t know. I’ll be there for him if he really needs a shoulder to lean on…

Well I reconnected with someone from 3 year ago. Alot has happened. They finally got published on a research program that at that time they mentioned they were working on and was hoping for promising results. Fast forward 3 years later he finished on project and I’m still interested in him. So I’m waiting to see if he will make the time for sunday so I’m excited. We’re going to a sushi place that i think I might has mentioned. So wish me luck 🙂 on this hang out/date.

So this dude who I don’t know that well been texting my disposble number, calling me baby and sexy. Though we had a nice conversation earlier now it’s turning into a not so pleasant experince. So my gut is like “let’s ignore this guy if it goes any further just tell him to back off from what he’s saying, don’t be afraid stand up and don’t take it” I feel in a way alot of guys feel they can say whatever and press a girl to dating them. I’m not interested and I told him more than 3 times. He kept pressing the issue of me not liking him because of his race. :/ I don’t date a complete stranger let alone one who keeps pressing they are the best thing that could ever happen to me. This guy smells of trouble the only problem is he knows where I live :/. He’s been going past my house he saw me here  couple of times and he knows that I live here. So if all else fails I will press charges if he keeps going on but I hope he’ll go away.

Right here I’m calling your name so listen dear.
Right now I’m calling you out on this game so don’t tear.
Why can’t you see that I tried so hard to love you.
To find you, in your darkness of heart.
To bring you, to bring you up out of the shadows.
So tell me why you run away?
Run away?
Tell me why don’t you love yourself?
Baby why don’t you love you?

Well with some luck I’ve been networking on yelp and various places reconecting with people I’ve chatted with who I lost contact with. Thankfully I got in touch with an old friend I’ll be writing her snail mail. Ever since that argument with my now ex friend I reflected on myself and I think its time I find people who I can feel at ease with. Both mentally and emotional of course. That I don’t feel like there is something hidden behind them or I have to put up a front to keep them. So while my car is being constantly worked on, I made the decision to go out more. Explore the city and meet new people and be careful as well. I don’t want to get depressed by being inside all the time so I figured to meet people who are in the same things I am. So wish me luck on this adventure in culture and social interactions.

Don’t be the King of The Eternal Shattered Hearts.
Don’t be the Queen of Cold Steeled Minds.

yeah the friendship of 3 years is now dead. Kaput…No longer in service…Why because the 3rd party just told him how they felt and he didn’t like it. Nor did he like what I had to say. No matter what I say it never really meant to him. Sad thing is maybe one day he’ll wake up and see I wasn’t lying about him being so miserable then again he may never see it. 😦 I feel sorry for him really he sounds like me when I was in high school. Angst, angry with the world, felt like it owed me because of what my grandma and my dad treated me. But you know what I had to change. I changed because I met him and though my gut wasn’t so sure about him I decided to change myself to see how it would go. Despite he might see where I was coming from he said we will never be friends and that okay. I lost many people in my life and I’m afraid of losing another. I just wish it didn’t happened like it did but it bound anyways.