Well today I revieved a text stating that alot has been happening hence the lack of communication. Yet again one had an excuse about not doing somethign they planned with me and went with someone else. So I’m stuck between really believing this or thinking its another excuse to say they don’t really wnat to be bothered. The reaction I got from them lately when I do talk about my feelings has been mostly harsh or being yelled at. A person can only take but for so much of yelling however I do understand that maybe they haven’t been having a great year to begin with. Lately the responses I’ve been getting from people I mingle with is to stop being friends with them even though we had a one time relationship. Most people say they don’t want to bothered since they never invited you anywhere knowing you’ve been alone with no one. Yet apart of me feels maybe they had their reasons but I do feel alienated from them and how lately they have been on edge with me. 😦 It’s not easy to tell what is exactly going on with them when they rarely talk about thier feelings. I try to get them to open up but they just shut back in and wants to get off the phone. I try to just back off and they would get upset when I do. I try not to assume anything but when more than one person keeps telling you the same thing you start to assume. I tried looking through thier eyes and I can see why they would be upset at this point. Alot has been going on and maybe they have thier own way to dealing with things versus how I deal with problems. It is a challenge to change your method of thinking. To stop assuming, to stop getting public opinion, to stop running around a pole and actually look at something through someone eyes. To them they thought I was mad at them but I wasn’t I thought they were mad at me. To assume on both sides in this situation isn’t going to help let alone the lack of communication on one side is making it even more worse than it really have to be. To be told that both of us are probably wrong and both of us must change or atleast take time for each other to talk would probably solve this and both must avoid that faulty way of thinking that is causing a riff that doesn’t have to be. To reliaze that you, yourself is wrong in a matter where people are or were telling you at one point you are right can be dangerous let alone scary. All I can do now is hope that I can resolve this and learn from this. I hope both of us really can learn and learn about ourselves respectively and if we could bring our friendship back to where it was and go from there it would be nice. But I have to understand as well it may not work out for the best and it might be better to part ways. But if one is willing to try again and learn then I hope it will be worth the effort to work on.

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