Archives for the month of: February, 2013

Hmm i think 3 songs for this one since I like to sing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLQRhG1a97Q&list=WL6A87B23DA6576331 Dee Lite Groove is in the Heart Because its so funky and fun to sing….                                                    
Candy Man- Mary Jane Girls – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlMuhCp5Gq0&list=WL6A87B23DA6576331 It’s so addicting lol I kinda wish I had my own sugar candy man.
Rise and Shine – The Cardigans  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sh85g3IEZ1Y its so pretty yet so sad yet so awesome to sing to!

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Metallica Ride the Lightening http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5JOdX2wP88&list=WL6A87B23DA6576331

For some reason it remind me of my friend. It was between Pantera or this but I think I think I’ll add his favorite Pantera song A new Level http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJ0bG_7L3Sw&list=WL6A87B23DA6576331

When you listen to it hear these words -> A new level of condiments and flour New Lice of new Lice

it will make you laugh XD

Though even if one doesn’t ask you lend your words only for it to backfire. If one does ask still one will tell you no its not true you don’t understand you don’t know anything about how I feel.

Though it will hurt to hear yourself actually when you been there.
 When you felt that all life isn’t worth living or that you’re not beautiful. You can say kind words the same that was spoken to you but you have to believe it to make it true. Yet when you try the same approach you end up hearing yourself and you have two choices. Speak positively or just say nothing. Both can end up having results you may not want to see. It is hard sometimes trying to convince yourself as well it will get better. Life has to get better but its only when you try to. Even when the odds are against you say something speak up reach out do something don’t try just do it. There are ways to keep living just push through the bad yet I see posts here and elsewhere saying not to say anything nice to someone who is going through something yet no one reached out when I was cutting, when I try to drink bleach. When I wanted to just run away and wished I was dead or would purposely run in front of a car just to hope they would kill me. I’ve been there done that. I’m still fighting against my own demons and maybe I care too much to help when no one asked. I accept hearing you can’t help me you don’t know me or hearing I never asked for you help or your pity leave me alone. I hear it too many times. All I can do is just hope maybe someone out there would keep going. Just keep going once you actually make a change within yourself to see the sun when it is raining. To see the moon when it is dark. Just keep going because someone out there wish they could see the world like you can. Wish they had a mother or father to lean on. A good friend to talk to. I however no longer have that. MY parents tried to get rid of me, my only father died and my grandmother is clinically insane in a way. My best friend stop talking to me and I fell in love with a man who doesn’t know what he wants or let alone may fear to even say I love you back. Yet I used what was given to me to get what I need and still working on getting myself on my own. Sure there are bills that say late, past due, notice and I still try to make it. I just wish my life would be more easier but I see it will only get harder from here so why not enjoy the little things I do have. A car, a shelter. a dog who listens to me, food and water. Yet I still wish to have some sort of emotional attachment or at least someone here with me since being alone can really bring you down. But I try to keep my head up remembering that time heals and it keeps going. Like the sands from yesterday aren’t here today but the sands of tomorrow of course will come and go as well. Keep moving and don’t let the past stop since it isn’t here to block you.

Hmmm a song that makes me cry well. Hmmm I don’t know what song would make me cry. Maybe this one it does sends shivers down my spine too. Shivers-Armin Van Buuren http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hl1mkCJ_SOs

and this one too Ghost-Jes Deepsky remix http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFkjxyexp70

I can kinda relate to this due to what I’m currently going through.

Me Myself and I

I can’t believe he doesnt want to be with me anymore. I mean I try to do everything to make him happy but why now tell me we can be friends. He knows its not easy to keep my emotions out of this completely. I feel like he needs someone but isn’t saying anything. Maybe he”s afraid of losing me completely maybe he scared of hurting me again.

Well like everyone said he’s a loser. A sorry ass loser. I mean really why now why couldn’t he say something the 1st damn time. Like everyone tells me I should leave him alone. I don’t care anymore.Yet my heart keeps telling me the above to keep holding on. Why hold on to someone who can’t make up his mind. Why keep loving someone who can’t even tell if he wants vanilla ice cream or chocolate. Its not that damn hard to tell. But what do I know. I mean he should know what he wants.

Maybe I should just let him be for awhile. I want to be there for him. I really want to love him but he’s making it this harder than it really is. I don’t feel he’s straying or wanting another woman it feels like he wants me and only me. But he’s scared. He’s afraid of the past might haunt him. Why can’t he let me see him. Why can’t I just go over to his place hold him and tell him its okay. I won’t leave ever unless he really wants me to. But I see him more than a friend and I don’t think I can’t retract my emotions for him. I don’t know why he’s so confused.

hmmmm too many but one will make it

http://youtu.be/dWZkxYamLUs Rick James You and I too many reasons it kinda makes me wanna put on my roller skates and hit the rink XD

Well finally I got to talk but I’m not finish however spilling my guts out to him. In a way I know waht I want but it so much on waiting on what he wants. He’s starting to fear again about some things and I want to calm him down about it. Grandma was doing better today and gave me some good advice. Put it on the table. Just like that she said. Just tell him how you feel and what you think and listen to what he says in return of what he feels and what he wants. I want him to be happy I don’t want to be the one to make him miserble if he doesn’t want to be with me and if he does I don’t want him to feel embarrassed or whatever. But trying to go back into a platonic relationship as friends however isn’t going to be easy. I have a tendency to say things that could make it awkward or cause some unwanted attention drawn to him or me. In a way I don’t want a platonic friendship it would be way too awkward and I couldn’t be able to retract back to the beginning. But if thats what he wants it will be a challenge. I hope though maybe I can talk to him in person soon maybe so I will be able to get all of this off my chest once and for all so I can finally stop guessing or assuming. I wish he was more vocal though but I understand not all people are vocal and the ones who are quiet at the wrong times are usually the ones who need someone to listen them.

Well I’m a 90’s kid so hmmm I guess 3 for this one

Sir Mix A Lot Baby got Back and to be told by your grandma that this is your song when you get older and then some guys say that this song is like you XD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nprhxc2Lxc&list=WL6A87B23DA6576331

From the car trips to North Carolina this song!

Cameo She’s Strange. Playing grandma’s cassette and her Vinyl So this was my childhood even though it came out in like 86 way before me lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDF8XLUnn0M&list=WL6A87B23DA6576331

hmmm last one

http://youtu.be/3s3vHFyybxk Shaggy It wasn’t me XD I love singing this but changing to him lol and i wasn’t allowed to watch BET anymore

 

Okay there is many of these songs lol so I think maybe 4 will make it

This song omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd5PUe-gJ5I&list=WL6A87B23DA6576331 2 Live Crew Too much Booty XD I think its self explaining  Too much booty in the pants. it makes me laugh I can’t help it.

OMG this should for the boyfriend song due to him telling me this XD but makes both of us laugh and it is a guilty pleasure XD  like Let me ride ASS ASS thats what he’s saying Ass Ass XD plus its also a inside joke too so it makes me laugh when he say donkey

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1-dUtieog0 Ice cream Paint Job from Dorrough not lil wayne but this song is from my art class XD and my car is the same. Plus molly is like cujo when you get too close to my car she wants to tear up the fence. 

Yeah so whats for the last song hmmm

When guys wearing Fishnet shirts and being buff oh yeah its my guilty pleasure XD Yeah on the cat walk I do my little turn on the cat walk