Lately I’ve been down in the dumps but now I’m setting back to being kinda content. Despite I’ve been told I sound sad or look unhappy I’m back to being me again. I don’t feel sad nor do I feel giddy. Happy to be alive of course but lately I think it’s time to apologize to some of you guys here. I’m sorry that I either had you worried about me. I feel terrible when people do worry and I think next time I’ll keep my mouth close now on. The only way to not feel guilty all the time about something is to be quiet about it. I’m an adult now and I have to solve my problems the best way and not ask for advice anymore. I’m not a little fat girl with a cute face anymore. I’m a overweight adult woman who needs to know that people aren’t nice or want to be your friend because they care. I’ve been told too many times by some people that they was only my friend or was going to date me because they felt sorry for me. Well I don’t feel sorry about myself anymore and I don’t want someone to be with me just because they feel sorry. No more pity parties for me. I’m just going to cry it out alone like I’ve been doing before I got the internet and just push my way like was doing and stop being dependent on anyone. I just wish I could just erased this from you memories. I just wish I never did let it go this far. I have to learn that out of sight is out of mind and it should apply to those who aren’t here to see it with their own eyes. Now I know that it’s better to be empathic to others but don’t expect them to be the same or to show sympathy in return. If only I wasn’t so weak to just break down or cry on the phone. Now I feel guilty as if I’m a needy depenent grub. Something that was told to me not to be. To be strong means not to cry to people or talk about what is really bothering you since it not anyone business but yours. So I apologize to those who is owed one. I’m sorry to those who wanted to be with me but saw my life was too much to juggle. I’m sorry to the ones who walked away because it was hurting them as well. I however am not sorry to those who only wanted something of me but was quite cold about it and was selfish when they wanted the same attention.

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